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 Post subject: a joke about an ostrich
PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 7:37 pm 
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Joined: Fri May 17, 2002 8:09 pm
Posts: 2030
Location: s/e ohio
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich,"What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be
$9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A
hamburger, fries and a coke."

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the man reaches into his
pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the
waitress.

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a
salad," says the man.

"Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pock! et and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir.How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a
million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for! as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick
with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say."

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I like my steak like I like my women, young, tender and bloody.

All I need is my weed, women, and wine. -Edge City Outlaws


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 9:39 pm 
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da LUV masta
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Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2005 11:52 am
Posts: 555
Location: Shreveport, La
thats pretty good.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 6:02 am 
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Posts: 993
Location: Winston Salem, NC
I'm telling that at school! Or work... But that is hilarious!

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-Old ride-82 Luv diesel 5spd with some upgrades
-Past rides-82 Sierra, 78 Coupe De'Ville, 91 2dr Blazer, 86 RX7, 86 Porsche 944T (rear-ended and totaled)
-Curr. rides- 1970 Ford LTD 4dr, 390 4Bbl, 2nd owner! With a few Extras ;) 00' Civic beater...


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2006 9:14 pm 
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Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2004 4:05 pm
Posts: 163
Location: corvallis oregon
wow that was funny! i've gota share that one!!!!

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 12:07 am 
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Location: Eagle Point, OR
Pretty funny Larp!!!


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 7:49 am 
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Location: Caldwell, Idaho
Dude its a lama. :D

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 5:26 am 
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Didn't wanna make a new post for this, so im gonna add it to this one, since I think it's kinda done. Something I recieved in a email------
Here are some men and women who mocked God:




JOHN LENNON:
Some years before during his interview with an American Magazine, he said:
"Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue about that. I am certain Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple, Today we are more famous than Him" (1966)".



Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times.



TANCREDO NEVES:

During the Presidential campaign, he said if he got 500 votes from his party, not even God would remove him from Presidency. Sure he got the votes, but he got sick a day before being made President, then he died.



CAZUZA:

During a show in Canecão ( Rio de Janeiro ), whilst smoking his cigarette, he puffed out some smoke into the air and said, "God, that's for you."



I can't even explain how he died.


THE MAN WHO BUILT TITANIC:
After the construction of Titanic, a reporter asked him how safe the Titanic would be. With an ironic tone he said, "Not even God can sink it." The result: I think you all know what happened to the Titanic.



MARILYN MONROE:
She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show. He is a preacher and Evangelist and the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her.



After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she said, "I don't need your Jesus!"



A week later, she was found dead in her apartment.



BON SCOTT:
The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang,



"Don t stop me, I m going down all the way, wow the highway to hell".



On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his vomit.



CAMPINAS/SP IN 2005:
In Campinas, a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a friend. The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter - holding her hand, who was already seated in the car,



"MY DAUGHTER, GO WITH GOD AND MAY HE PROTECT YOU."



She responded, "ONLY IF HE (GOD) TRAVELS IN THE BOOT, COZ INSIDE HERE IT'S ALREADY FULL!"



Hours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died, the car could not be recognized what type of car it had been, but surprisingly, the boot was intact.



The police said there was no way the boot could have remained intact. To their surprise, inside the boot was a crate of eggs, none was broken.----



not trying to bring religion to the site, or anything like that, but thought this was interesting :D


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 3:02 pm 
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Location: Nampa, Idaho
i am not religious.. but that is very interesting indeed!!

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