LUVTruck.com

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

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hahaha. good one.

here's one for you:

Jimmy just went to prison and is escorted to his new cell
inside is a huge muscular man nicknamed bubba.
not much was said between the two while Jimmy was settling in and
Jimmy was scared to death to begin a conversation.
A little later Bubba says, "You want to be the wife or the Husband?" in a loud booming voice.
Jimmy was a little shaken, and said "given the choice, I want to be the husband!"
Bubba said that's fine, now get over here and suck your wifes d**k!

That was a shitty joke, bad punch line...

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-Old ride-82 Luv diesel 5spd with some upgrades
-Past rides-82 Sierra, 78 Coupe De'Ville, 91 2dr Blazer, 86 RX7, 86 Porsche 944T (rear-ended and totaled)
-Curr. rides- 1970 Ford LTD 4dr, 390 4Bbl, 2nd owner! With a few Extras 00' Civic beater...

Doctors Never Laugh

Smoke went to the doctor and said 'Doctor, I have a problem, but I'm embarrassed and I don't want you to
Laugh.'

The Doctor replied 'Of course I won't laugh, I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient.'

'Okay then,' Smoke said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'whoo-ha' the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been bigger than the size of a AAA battery.

Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, then fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and
Regain his composure.

'I'm so sorry,' said the doctor. 'I really am. I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again. Now, what seems to be the problem?

'It's swollen,' Smoke replied

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Life is a DRAG RACE!!!
I like my Luv WILD!!!

Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough!!
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken.
http://www.wildluvracing.com

that's better...

_________________
-Old ride-82 Luv diesel 5spd with some upgrades
-Past rides-82 Sierra, 78 Coupe De'Ville, 91 2dr Blazer, 86 RX7, 86 Porsche 944T (rear-ended and totaled)
-Curr. rides- 1970 Ford LTD 4dr, 390 4Bbl, 2nd owner! With a few Extras 00' Civic beater...

Thanks. I was just going through my emails and had this joke, so I thought I would at it with the other jokes. I thought it was pretty good too.

_________________
Life is a DRAG RACE!!!
I like my Luv WILD!!!

Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough!!
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken.
http://www.wildluvracing.com

There probably should be a joke area of the forum...

_________________
-Old ride-82 Luv diesel 5spd with some upgrades
-Past rides-82 Sierra, 78 Coupe De'Ville, 91 2dr Blazer, 86 RX7, 86 Porsche 944T (rear-ended and totaled)
-Curr. rides- 1970 Ford LTD 4dr, 390 4Bbl, 2nd owner! With a few Extras 00' Civic beater...

That would be good. Should have Ben put one in.

_________________
Life is a DRAG RACE!!!
I like my Luv WILD!!!

Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough!!
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken.
http://www.wildluvracing.com