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>
>Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
>
>
>(Now I know why they record these conversations!):
>
>
>Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
>
>
>Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
>
>
>Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
>
>
>Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
>went
>away"
>
>
>Operator: "Went away?"
>
>
>Caller: "They disappeared"
>
>
>Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
>
>
>Caller: "Nothing."
>
>
>Operator: "Nothing??"
>
>
>Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
>
>
>Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
>
>
>Caller: "How do I tell?"
>
>
>Operator: "Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??"
>
>
>Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
>
>
>Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
>
>
>Caller: "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything
>I
>type."
>
>
>Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
>
>
>Caller: "What's a monitor?"
>
>
>Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
>Does
>it have a little light that tells you when its on ? ?
>
>
>Caller: "I don't know."
>
>
>Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where
>the
>power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
>
>
>Caller: "Yes, I think so."
>
>
>Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
>plugged
>into the wall.
>
>
>Caller: "Yes, it is."
>
>
>Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there
>were
>two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
>
>
>Caller: "No."
>
>
>Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and
>find the
>other cable."
>
>
>Caller: "Okay, here it is."
>
>
>Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into
>the
>back of your computer."
>
>
>Caller: "I can't reach."
>
>
>Operator: "OK. Well, can you see if it is??"
>
>
>Caller: "No."
>
>
>Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way
>over??"
>
>
>
>Caller: "Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's
>because
>it's dark."
>
>
>Operator: "Dark??"
>
>
>Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
>coming
>in from the window."
>
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power ... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked
now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your
computer
came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up
just
like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought
it
from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!"
_________________ OK, I'm over it. Where's the beer? 
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