well thank you everyone for the kind words.
last night was one of the worst nights ever, I had to listen to him try and breathe all night long, I don't think either he or I slept at all. I was terrified all night long that he'd suffocate and I wouldn't be able to do anything. So I woke up at 8 and called the vet the second they opened and talked to them. They said his lung capacity was so minimal that he wouldn't be able to breathe soon. I didn't want him to be in any more pain and suffering. I didn't want him to be miserable. But it was so hard, because I wanted to keep him. It was so hard. So we made an appt for 12 today and took him in.
It was the absolute hardest thing I have ever done. He was the best dog ever. Today, we gave him soft cat food, lol, his favorite. He licked it up sooo fast! We also gave him Ritz crackers and took him for a really short walk around the front yard. He really liked that. It was the first time in a long time his tail came out from between his legs. We took lots of pictures of him and with him, too. At the vet's, we brought his favorite pillow for him to lay on and just comforted him so he wasn't nervous about being at the vets. Once he was calmed down, they came in and I petted him while they gave him the shot. Not long into the shot I saw him leave, through his eyes, he just wasn't there anymore. And that was that. But he was really comofrtable the whole time, he didn't look scared at all. He looked at peace. I just kept talking to him and I just think he knew. I don't know but that's what I like to think. It's hard, I don't think its set in quite yet. I have a hard time realizing he won't be there to greet me at the door, bouncing up and down and stealing the mail off the table (he always had to have
something in his mouth, lol.) There's more I think about but I'll just keep all of that to myself.
thanks everyone. He was a really great dog I'm going to miss him so much. I've never lost anyone or thing to death, this is my first up close experience with death, and it's been really difficult. Thanks everyone, I know things will get better its just really really hard right now.
I've never been in so much emotional pain in my entire life. I feel at peace because he's not in pain anymore but I miss him so much and then I think about how I'll never see him again and all of those combined just make me start crying. But thanks again everyone for the kind words I appreciate it.
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That sucks...
