If anyone here is offended by Christian spiritual references this post may be offensive, so best not to read it. I post because in this man's remote location Christian guidance may not be readily available.
It seems there are many tests in the experience of life. In some cases others bring about a testing of our mettle, but it some cases it's our own doing. Some are 'allowed' by God, but are not His direct doing, as when Job was tested by the devil's deceits and attacks. In other cases our own actions can lead to trials even though we did what seemed right to us to get there.
A Scripture verse comes to mind: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding..." This is a two edged sword, that it can seem to encourage us to stay in a bad situation and wait it out, or it can say that we should boldly strike out and change a situation knowing all will work out in the end. For me the answer is to pray for guidance and when I receive it, follow it! Good to have your face in the Bible of course....
Possibly your first test in this was to see if you would indeed shoot and kill someone over a couple of gallons of gas? You would not because it wasn't right in what you believe. Good!
I was in a situation similar to yours, in extreme remote location, having to truck in water, no electricity, working a mine in the desert. The 'good Christians' that owned the mine decided not to pay me regularly so suddenly no food, no water, no gasoline etc. I nearly died a couple of times. I finally got enough pay for some gas and supplies and decided to blow out of there, praying for them in all their confusions over their definition of 'Christian'.
Where? I asked the only One who knew where I should go. I believed He would tell me, and guide me. He did, I went. When I got there it ended up to be a new and better place but one of further testing. Repeat, repeat, until today. This place is best, but the trials and tribulations haven't ceased.
Bottom line: We say we believe, and God says, "Okay, prove it!"
In that belief, and desire to prove it, one would see a complicated thing: whereby we choose to be tried in the fire to show the proof of our belief! Fact of the matter is we have little more to offer in return for what we have received. Our own belief, and sharing that with others, is the key to the Christian's existence and is 'our side' of the relationship with God.
Off the top of my head I'd say you might be where you don't belong. I would counsel you to pray and seek His direct guidance, to clearly tell and show you if or where to go and how to get there.
Another mentioned, "Our Father, which art..." and that covers a whole bunch of ground! Ask your Father to directly lead and guide, and to protect, and to provide sustenance for your journey. We are all on a journey, even sitting still right where we are. You know that He is Faithful and True, like no other, so live the believe! Be-lieve = BE-LIVE. He WILL provide but He cannot unless you let him. In the same vein He cannot provide unless we are willing to do what needs to be done on our part.
Therefore if and when He tells you where and when to go, go, and trust and believe. It is best for you according to Scripture to seek out others of your kind, as Christians. We renegade Christians don't always fit in with some groups. If you search [and trust] diligently you will find a place where you belong, with some Christian support and fellowship to help you along the way, where you can grow and flourish, to be all that God wants you to be. In many cases we may feel others reject our ways when in fact it is our distorted opinion of them which is the problem!
Keep trudging on towards the Light, pilgrim, and KNOW that your 'believe' is directly connected to the Eternal Truth who has a name and LOVES YOU!
Consider in your own mind whether you should witness your belief to those unfriendly neighbors that they might finally hear the Truth. Yeah, it could get you killed, but overall, for a Christian, that is a non-problem considering your final destination.
I and others are praying for you.
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