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So the story goes...



I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided

to grab a bite at the food court.



I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him.



The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"



Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one.



And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.



"Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you
were my son."

_________________
If you think no one cares, try missing a couple of payments...



FIAA!

SFPP!

LMAO!

Back when I was still bartending, I had a regular customer that was an old retired seargent-major. Whenever some young whelp would rub him the wrong way, he would say to him:

"You should respect me you little dipshit - I could be your father."

Of course the kid would get his panties all bunched up, start whining about his mom and dad's honor, and tell the old guy that there was no way in hell that was possible.

To which the old sargeant-major would always reply:

"You sure? Because I remember having a few too many beers in this town once, and when I went outside to take a leak, I was so drunk I fell face-down and accidently stuck my wanger in a big dirt clod."

Then seeing the look on the poor kid's face was one of things you just couldn't help but laugh your butt off at...lol