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PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 8:19 am 
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How to Please Your I.T. Department

01. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

02. Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from here.

03. When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to remember 700 screen saver passwords.

04. When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get into your mail because your computer won't power on at all.

05. When I.T. support sends you an E-Mail with high importance, delete it at once. We're just testing.

06. When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.

07. Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

08. When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's electronics in it.

09. When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I.T. person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a puzzle.

10. When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don't have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.

11. When an I.T. person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?"
That motivates us.

12. When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.

13. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all
68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.

14. Don't learn the proper term for anything technical. We know exactly what you mean by "My thingy blew up".

15. Don't use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 9:52 am 
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LMAO! So true...so true.

And don't forget to add: When you see us out in public trying to relax and have a good time - make sure you come up and bother us with work-related BS. After all - we have no life.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 10:38 am 
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Equaly annoying are the

" Oh hey, I know your a computer wiz(um actually I'm a Network Engineer) sweet!, so I just thought I'd ask...um my computer at home..."

"...nice to meet you too...what do you do?, Network Engineer...cool, hey let me ask you a question... My monitor blah blah blah."

"Hey, you think if I brought my daughters PC by, you could take a look at it... it's just realy slow, gets alot of popups, shuts itself off all the time... I told her 'I'd get you to take a look' <pause> um....$70, per hour??? Oh, um... well I thought you could just whip through it real quick."

"Hey dude... my DSL at home...blah blah freakin blah!... Well I tried calling Verizon, but those pricks won't ever pick up"..... Jeez, I wonder why!?


Try that shit in any other profession.

"oh, your a Dr...cool, hey can you take a look at this wart .. on my anus."

"Oh your a Certified Mechanic?...cool, hey if I bring my car by your house, can you look at it? Oh it's probably real simple for you... it's just, every time I get the car back after my wife drives it, the steering wheel is mysteriously closer to my face and knees than before... blah blah blah"

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 12:13 pm 
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I get the feeling that list was made by a specific IT person at a specific business. Not sure when or where, but they seem like real life events. Some of them are kinda, "you had to be there". :)

But BS like this is why I got out of IT.

Now the highlight of my week is person 288 sending me pictures of their Chevy LUV with "my pictures" as the title and no name anywhere in the body of the message.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 12:24 pm 
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Ha!

Should start a new category named "Somebody's pictures".

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 12:30 pm 
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The thing I have found "funny" about IT, is how difficult it is to A: Inform someone who submitted a ticket to have an audio based program etc RE-installed on their PC, "because it just stopped working correctly"... only to get there and have to show them that their SPEAKERS ARE OFF!!, without totaly demorilizing them, but hell, what are ya supposed to say, "Eh happens to me all the time"

Or B: Just go totaly Nick Burns on them. :)



"Oh, and...your Welcome!!"

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 11:13 pm 
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hay , you know computer can you fix mine every time i log on to that web thingy it only goes to one page something like i am in luv with my truck site or what ever its call... i tried to remove it but its always there looking back at me and asking all kinds of luv questions, man i hope its not a porn site :oops: :roll: :wink:

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 11:28 pm 
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Well, here is the other side to IT, not knocking anyone on here...

Equipment operator - " Can you look at my computer at my station? The screen is blank and _ _ _(the ITguy) said it may be a bad sensor.

It guy "we only work on the outside network " ( when the internal network is down )

"we only work on the internal network " ( you guessed it, when the external network is down)

You have a request in to set up a lap top to work with the plant system, 6 weeks go by with several excuses until suddenly - 'If you could get the scissor lift and run 350 foot of network cable in the overhead and install a drop here, here, and here for a new system we have to install, I'll be setting up your passwords for the laptop since you've already got the drop you need for it in the shop already. "

Then, a month later, a coworker chained the chairs in our work area to the desk because the IT dept. kept using them for their quests and not returning them, The computer gets pulled. When asked why, " you're boss said pull it." When a couple of tasks are left undone and the boss says, "didn't you get my email? " IT says " I didn't say that." ( couldn't say why either )

And my personal favorite, "call the help desk, that's what they are for " this after the helpdesk says it's a problem for the local IT.

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 5:17 am 
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You're right T, there needs to be alot more give n take and cooperation from both sides. Hell I bet a college kid could write 1,000 page thesis on the social interaction between "IT guys" and the "end users".

In my 12+ years experience, I think I've discovered the source of some of the animocity from both sides.

As someone who has been and still is ocaisionaly an and user of technology, we all know by now that when a software company or related vendor mentions "turn key sollution", "ease of managment" etc, you only beleive half of what you see and none of what you hear.

The (for the most part) unwilling or unable to help idiots reached when calling tech support, cause alot of frustration for everyone.

Put that and another list of examples together, and eventualy the "customers" etc we service think "we" are all in it together... hence the phrase "well you're in computers, aren't you?" or "you computer guys". like we all work for Microsoft, Cisco, or Google and we all had a meeting and decided to make everyone's life hell this week.

From the tech guys side, ALOT of the customer interaction I have witnessed or had directed at me personaly, is this mentality that we are either akin to computer "janitors" (honestly, no offense to anyone inth custodial arts), or as the first question asked when answering the phones often acuses... "Ok, what did yall break now?" "are you messing with the Internet ?"...

So in the end, after years of having humans act and react to each other it has basically come down to a daily pissing contest, and very little cooperation between the 2. Sadly, the fix for the problem would, as I have seen only make "the problem" worse. At least in my field, the Public School System. I have certainly learned you don't reward the bad behavior with those folks. Give 'em an inch...


And a 350 patch cable, not on my network... would need another switch at the 300 foot mark, and if the network already consists of CAT6, that better not be a box of CAT5 I see dragging through the ceiling :)

peace

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 11:03 am 
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That's why IT is supposed to run the cables... :lol:

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 6:38 pm 
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My favorite situations as IT (actual events).

Co-worker: "Do you have a copy of Windows XP Pro I can have?"
Me: "No, they have copy protection on that stuff now, you'll have to buy it."
Co-worker: "Oh, I thought you were an IT guy, sorry."


Friends mom: "If someone erases the history for what web sites they go to, how do I get that back to see where they went?"
Me: (As I think if the work involved in data recovery and how every bit of it is going to go over this person's head) "You don't, it's gone."
Friends mom: "Oh, I thought you were an IT guy."


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 7:17 pm 
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Yeah,

"Um my cat spilled a bottle of Drano, lapped up most of it, the ran sqeeling out the door in pain and was ran over by a bus...what can you do for him?"

"Uh nothing Ma'am, he's gone..."

"Pffft, I thought you were veterenarian!"

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