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A TRIP TO WALMART

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house. Mowing
the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or
whatever. You are hot and sweaty. Covered in dirt or paint. You have
your old work clothes on. You know the outfit, shorts with the hole in
crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of
tennis shoes.

Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize
you need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help complete the job.
Depending on your age you might do the following.

In your 20's:

Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair,
brush
your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the
mirror
and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know,
you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane.
You went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30's:

Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes.
You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and
comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a
shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl
running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school
with.

In your 40's:

Stop what you are doing. Put a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover
the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a
hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so
you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself
in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young
thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird
thinking she is spicy.

In your 50's:

Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands
onto
your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt in your
new
sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear
that
shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the
register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have
it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from your buddy's bait
shop and it says, "I Got Worms".

In your 60's:

Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose off the dog
crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your
50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in
your pants. The girl running the register may be cute but you don't have
your glasses on so you are not sure.

In your 70's:

Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they have your
prescriptions ready too. Don't' even notice the dog crap on your
shoes.
The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of
her grandfather.

In your 80's:

Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you
remember that you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and wander
around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud
and you think someone called out your name. The old lady that greeted
you at the front door went to school with you.

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FIAA: Color Guard

damn, I'm 60

where my fuckin pension and you damn kids get off my lawn!!!!!!!




every time I'm in the middle of something and gotta run to the parts store or wally world i usually look like that. ill come in the hose, grab my keys and tell the ol lady I'm going to the store. i get a "dressed like that?"
well yeah, if i took a shower and got cleaned up to go to autozone would you REALLY think i was going to autozone?

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I like my steak like I like my women, young, tender and bloody.

All I need is my weed, women, and wine. -Edge City Outlaws