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One day, after striking gold in Alaska, a lonesome miner came
down from the mountains and walked into a saloon in the nearest
town. "I'm lookin' for the meanest toughest and roughest hooker
in the Yukon," he said to the bartender.

"We got her" replied the bartender. "She's upstairs in the
second room on the right."

The miner handed the bartender a gold nugget to pay for the
hooker and two beers. He grabbed the bottles, stomped up the
stairs, kicked the door open on the second door on the right and
yelled, "I'm looking for the meanest roughest and toughest hooker
in the Yukon."

The woman inside the room looked at the miner and said, "Well,
you found her." Then she stripped naked, bent over and grabbed
her ankles.

"How do you know I want that position first?" asked the miner.

"I don't," replied the hooker, "but I thought you might want to
open those beers first."

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FIAA: Color Guard

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FIAA!

SFPP!

That would be a handy gal to have around!