...over the Golden Gate
Bridge at about 90mph. Wouldn't you know,
a cop jumped out and clocked him with radar.
Bob pulled over like a good citizen;
recalling Rodney King and recent illegal alien
incidents.
The cop walked up to the window and said, "You
know how fast you were going, BOY?"
Bob thought for a second and asked, "Uhh, over
55?"
"93mph son! 93mph in a 55 zone!"
"But if you already knew, officer" replied Bob,
"Why did you ask me?"
Ignoring Bob, the officer continued, in his
normal charming fashion, "That's speeding, and
you're getting a ticket and a fine!"
The cop took a good look at Bob and said, "You
don't even look like you have a job! Why, I've
never seen anyone so scruffy in my entire life!"
Bob answered, "I've got a job! I have a good,
well paying job!"
The cop leaned in the window, and with the smell
of day old donuts on his breath, said, "What
kind of a job would a bum like you have?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher!" replied Bob.
"What you say, BOY?" asked the patrolman.
"I'm a rectum stretcher!"
Of course the cop asked, "What does a rectum
stretcher do?"
Bob explained, " People call me up and say they
want to be stretched, so I go over there and
start with a couple of fingers, then a couple
more, and then one whole hand, then two. Then I
pull them farther and farther apart until it's
six feet across."
The cop, absorbed with the images in his mind,
let down his guard and asked, "What the hell do
you do with a six foot asshole?"
Bob nonchalantly commented, "You give it a radar
detector and stick it at the end of a bridge!"
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