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Haynes® Manual Usage Instructions
Please read and follow carefully




Materials required:


Haynes® manual.

X-Acto™ knife.

Red broad-tip permanent ink marker (such as Marks-a-Lot®)

Rubber cement or white glue (such as Elmer's® or Ross®)

Prepared coffee

Mug





1. Remove the cellophane wrapper from your Haynes® manual and discard
Wrapper in accordance with prevailing environmental regulations. As with all

Plastics, cellophane must not be disposed of in fire.

2. Open manual so that inside front cover is visible. Apply rubber cement or

White glue to inside front cover and facing page.

3. Turn page and apply pressure so that inside front cover adheres to first
Page. Apply rubber cement or white glue to facing pages; adhere. Repeat for
Every set of two facing pages, including inside back cover. It may be
Helpful occasionally to close the manual and stand upon it to ensure a good
And durable bond between pages.

4. Apply rubber cement or white glue to edges of manual (excluding spine);
Permit to dry.

5. Using ink marker, write one or more of the following words in block
Letters on the front cover, the rear cover, the spine and all three
Remaining edges: DANGER PELIGRO GEVAAR GEFAHR PERICOLO PERIGO . Select the
Words from this list that reflect the languages you use, starting with the
Language you use most frequently.

6. Place prepared manual on work surface. Pour prepared coffee into mug.
Place mug atop prepared manual to prevent coffee stains from marring work
Surface. In this manner, coffee may even be spilled without long-term
Detection.

6a. IF YOU DO NOT DRINK COFFEE: Disregard step 6. Instead, place prepared
Manual in gap between trailing edge of workspace door and door frame. In
This manner, door may be held open even in the presence of wind,
Closing-assist springs, etc.

6b. IF YOU DO NOT DRINK COFFEE OR HAVE A DOOR: Disregard steps 6 and 6a.
Instead, place prepared manual in a suitable firepit or fireplace. Ensure
Adequate ventillation, and set fire to prepared manual, prodding as
Necessary to assure complete combustion. (CAUTION: Burning manual is hot and

Emits noxious fumes.)

Thank you for purchasing a Haynes® manual. We hope it serves you well in its

Function as a suitable coffee coaster, a useful doorstop, or at least 6
Minutes of heat.


CAUTION!
Do Not Under Any Circumstances Attempt To Repair Any Vehicle, Regardless of
Make, Model or Year, Using your Haynes® Manual! Severe Personal Injury,
Property Damage and/or Funds Depletion Can Result!

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If you think no one cares, try missing a couple of payments...



FIAA!

SFPP!

Ain't that the truth

AMEN BROTHER AMEN!!!!

I concur.

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FIAA: Color Guard

They are good for taking the wobble out of the coffee table.

I really love the special color section on how to bondo and rattle can over rust .

i wish i had had that little update when i put that clutch in my old camaro. sure would've gone a lot quicker.

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front tires are overrated.