What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? -W.C. Fields
Beer has long been the prime lubricant in our social intercourse and the sacred throat-anointing fluid that accompanies the ritual of mateship. -Rennie Ellis
It is disgusting to note the increase in the quantity of coffee used by my subjects and the amount of money that goes out of the country in consequence. If possible, this must be prevented. My people must drink beer. -Frederick the Great
If you see a beer, drink it. -Michael Jackson, British beer guru
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline – it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. -Frank Zappa
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. -Winston Churchill
Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy. -Benjamin Franklin
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. -Dave Barry
I drink to make other people interesting. -George Jean Nathan
He was a wise man who invented beer. -Plato
They who drink beer will think beer. -Washington Irving
Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. -Kaiser Wilhelm
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. -W.C. Fields
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. -Frank Sinatra
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. -Tom Waits
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? -Stephen Wright
Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer. -Frederick the Great
This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord has intended a more divine form of consumption. Let us give praise to our maker and glory to His bounty be learning about beer. -Friar Tuck
I'm off for a quiet pint – followed by fifteen noisy ones. Gareth Chilcott
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder. W.C. Fields
Work is the curse of the drinking class. Oscar Wilde
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. Ernest Hemmingway
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Dave Barry
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. Jack Handy
If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs. David Daye
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. Henny Youngman
Do not cease to drink beer, to eat, to intoxicate thyself, to make love and to celebrate the good days. Ancient Egyptian saying
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver". Jack Handy
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. Humphrey Bogart
Fermentation may have been a greater discovery than fire. David Rains Wallace
I work until beer o’clock. Steven King
Keep your libraries, your penal institutions, your insane asylums... give me beer. You think man needs rule, he needs beer. The world does not need morals, it needs beer. Henry Miller
In my opinion, most of the great men of the past were only there for the beer. -A.J.P. Taylor
"Did you ever taste beer?" "I had a sip of it once," said the small servant. "Here's a state of things!" cried Mr. Swiveller.... "She never tasted it – it can't be tasted in a sip!" -Charles Dickens
Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer. -Don Marquis
What care I how life advances? I am drinking ale today. -Edgar Allan Poe
A quart of ale is a dish for a king. -William Shakespeare
Give my people plenty of beer, good beer and cheap beer, and you will have no revolution among them. -Queen Victoria
In vino veritas, in cervesio felicitas (In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is joy).
Beer that is not drunk has missed its vocation. -Meyer Breslau
I drink therefore I am. -W.C. Fields
Quickly, bring me a beaker of cider so that I may wet my mind and say something clever. -Aristophanes
Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer. -Henry Lawson
A mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer. -Ancient Egyptian saying, 2200 BC
Fermentation and civilisation are inseparable. -John Ciardi
With beer the spirit is kept in balance with the liver and blood. -Egyptian medical book, 1600 BC
If only air was as clean as beer, we could be happy. -Richard von Weiszecker, German ex-president
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