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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 11:02 pm 
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PITA Old Fart

Joined: Thu May 22, 2003 8:33 am
Posts: 2286
We all use the english language a lot to tell jokes. But sometimes the joke is in the language. Here's a bunch of sets of words that just makes you wonder.


afterlife — Wouldn't "after death" be exactly the same thing?
airshow — Is this a display of atmosphere?
alimony — Shouldn't there be an "e" after the "n" in the word?
amends — How come you can't make just one?
annals — Wouldn't be nice to be mentioned in even one?
big — Why is this word littler than little, small and tiny?
building — If it's completed, shouldn't it be called a built?
catwalk — Did you ever see a cat walk on one?
customers — Are they now called guests to avoid giving them custom service?
demote — Shouldn't the word be remote; to make small again?
denote — Why isn't this the opposite of note?
detective — Does a person in this job do mostly detecting?
escalator, elevator — Are these working improperly when going down?
exterminate — Shouldn't this mean the opposite of terminate?
extraordinary — Is this a lot more ordinary than usual?
goods — Can you buy just one?
goods — How come it's bad when somebody has them on you?
governmental — Is this a bureaucratic state of mind?
haphazard — Does this mean lack of order is dangerous?
homo sapiens — Aren't most of us hetero sapiens?
hummingbird - Is this a parrot that forgot the words to the song?
indisposed — Like two minuses, don't "in" and "dis" cancel each other, yielding just "posed?"
inexpensive — Since in- and ex- are opposites, shouldn't it be just plain pensive?
inkling — If you have lots, are you a genius?
invalid — Does a physical handicap make a person illegitimate?
misrepresent — Is this when you accidentally sent something before again?
mushroom — Is this a place where they practice dog-sledding?
offspring — Is that like a dried up fountain?
pants, trousers, drawers, slacks — How is it you can wear a pair but not one?
pathetic, apathetic — Aren't you pathetic if you're apathetic about everything?
premeditated — Could this mean you did it before you thought about it?
preposterous — Doesn't this really amount to "before" + "after" + "erous"?
skinny — Since fat people are bigger, aren't they more skinny than thin people?
slaughter — Isn't it macabre that it's mostly laughter?
stalemate — Does this have something to do with the seven year itch?
suitcase — Would this be legal mumbo-jumbo?
ulterior — Have you ever heard this word without the word "motive" after it?
uncooked — How do you uncook something?
wonderful — Is this what you are when you wonder a lot?

______________________________

English is a marvelous and rich language. Yet we seldom pause to consider its weird vocabulary. Coming from different countries and cultures and meandering the halls of history, many English words now seem to have some pretty paradoxical definitions. These are some more wonder words because they make you wonder.

Isn't it fruitless to eat your vegetables?
Did you ever wonder why funeral starts with the word fun?
Would church music be considered organic?
Isn't dogma a bitch?
What are you vacating when you go on vacation?
Should someone with guests act hostile? Or take them hostage?
Wouldn't it be more accurate to call a fireman a waterman?
Can you enjoy a party fully?
In the navy, is a portly person left-handed?
Is a precaution something you get before a caution?
Do undertakers actually undertake when it comes to fees for service?
Could we call an abstract painting an artificial artifice?
At sundown wouldn't you expect nightrise instead of nightfall?
Would you expect a high-rise of flats to be very tall?
Isn't kidnapping normal in kindergartens?
Aren't even small Catholic churches massive?
Are overjoyed people too happy?
Isn't the center of register the gist of the word?
Can lay people be upstanding citizens?
Why do they call marriage matrimony instead of patrimony?
Like the wheel, wasn't the lazy Susan a revolutionary idea?
Just before an artist's model takes a break, is she predisposed?
Would the ugly truth be called the lowdown lowdown?
How come lipstick doesn't do what it says?
If money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
If you run errands, aren't you a go-getter?
Why don't we say farrer instead of farther, or nearther instead of nearer?
Isn't a good steak rarely well done?
Didn't rearing children once have something to do with spanking their butts?
Wouldn't it be more correct to call a butterfly a flowerfly?
If you pull the wings off a fly, does it become a walk?
If somebody is armed to the teeth, does he have a neck?
If you cease to be, then come alive, are you deceased?
How come you are still sitting after you sat.
Isn't it amazing that anyone can stand sitting?
Instead of a personality, does a dog have a dogality?
How come someone can be canny and uncanny at the same time?
What's the point of flattery?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Exactly what is so fast about quicksand?
Aren't half-baked ideas rare?
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
When you cash a check, do you check the cash?
What is so proper about property?
Isn't anything underwater also over water?
Are outstanding pay checks good or bad?
Why do they call dwellings stuck together apartments?
Can you orient yourself out west?
Why are there interstates in Hawaii?
Why do caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?
If you are just kidding, isn't that childish?
At the drive-in theatres, was there a lot of autoeroticism?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Isn't it odd that sweetmeat is basically bread while sweetbread is meat?
Why do we hear music from speakers and dial-talk shows on tuners?
Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?
How come people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Why do we iron our clothes and paper our walls?
Why are goods sent by ship called cargo and those sent by truck shipment?
Why does worthless mean the opposite of priceless?
Why are the bigheaded usually also small-minded?
In court, how come you can't swear except under oath?
Doesn't is seem the opposite of ability should be nobility?
If you get a scratch on your car, can you make something from it?
Is it all right to put cups in the dishwasher and dishes in the cupboard?
Isn't it odd that to tell time, you look at the hands on the face on the wrist?
If you are assassinated instead of just murdered, are you important?
Shouldn't guests leave a banquest fed up?
In a stadium, why do they call a place where you sit the stands?
How come cook and kook aren't pronounced the same?
Don't most people sit in the grandstands?
Would you rather have your bank account frozen, liquidated, or evaporated?
Can you comprehend the language of a comprehensive insurance policy?
What does it mean when the odds are even against you?

______________________________

Then of course, there are also all of those military wonder words too.

Why is a group of foot soldiers called an army instead of a leggy?
Was George Washington a revolting general?
Why doesn't the military call missiles hittiles instead?
Is a fortress a fort without any guns sticking out?
Is a casualty someone dressed in sweat shirt and jeans?
Does an army major get demoted to a minor?
Shouldn't the army infantry be called the army adultery?
How come an army private doesn't get any privacy?
Does an army general do any thing specific?


Is it really any big surprise to anyone that we all can't seem to communicate with each other very well?


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