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For all the ladies that you know that have asked, "What is marketing?", the following analogies will probably help clear it all up for them...
You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
- That's Direct Marketing.
You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "Clint Eastwood said I'm fantastic in bed."
- That's Celebrity Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "She's fantastic in bed."
- That's Advertising.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "She's more fantastic in bed than the brunette by the window."
- That's Comparative Advertising.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "Every guy at the McDonald's on Finch Avenue says she's fantastic in bed."
- That's Institutional Advertising, and...... Corporate Endorsement.
You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
- That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up and straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten his tie brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
- That's Public Relations
You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."
- That's Brand Recognition.
You're at a party and see several handsome guys with whom you have never slept with before. You walk up to them and say "I'm fantastic in bed"
- That's Market Penetration.
You're at a party and see a handsome guy who you slept with before. You walk up to him and say "I'd like to sleep with you again in a different position"
- That's Market Development.
You're at a party and see several handsome guys with whom you have never slept with before. Open your top more, tug down your pants to expose your thong, and walk up to them and say "I'm fantastic in bed"
- That's Product Development.
You're at a party and see several handsome guys with whom you have never slept with before. You look at the girls with the guys. You walk up to the girls and say "I'm fantastic in bed"
- That's Product Diversification.
You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home with your friend.
- That's a Sales Rep.
Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.
- That's Tech Support.
You're at a party, you walk around the room asking the men how much money they have in their wallets, if they have a car, and if they have a job, then you decide which ones to give your phone number to
- That's Target Market Segmentation
You're at a party, you tell one guy "I'm fantastic in bed!", he turns to the next guys and says "She's fantastic in bed", this second guy turns to a third guy and says "She's fantastic in bed"
- That's Viral Marketing
You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"
- That's Spam.
You're at a party, you tell one guy "I'm fantastic in bed!", he ignores you because there are several other women at the party.
- That's Elastic Demand
You're at a party, you tell one guy "I'm fantastic in bed!", he jumps on you right away and offers you dinner and a movie - there are no other women at the party.
- That's Inelastic Demand
You're at a party, you tell one guy "I'm fantastic in bed!, and.... you only have to take me to Burger King afterwards, but that blonde, you'll have to take to the Keg"
- That's Price Differentiation
You're at a party, you tell one guy "I'm fantastic in bed!", he's interested and to gives you his number, later in the evening you meet several other guys and the hesitate to give you a number because a whole bunch of new girls have arrived. At the end of the night you give your number to the ugly looking guy collecting empties.
- That's the Product Life Cycle
You see several handsome guys at a party. You go up to them and using covert hugging and flicking off imaginary lint, you manage to slip your telephone number into their wallets. You also take out any other telephone numbers they may have collected and write your telephone number over top of those numbers, in bigger letters.
- That's Search Engine Optimization.
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