found this on SVrider.com..thought yall could relate 
I THINK YOU GUYS WILL BE ABLE TO RELATE TO THIS...
This is the time of year when we think back to the very first
Christmas,
when the Three Wise Men; Gaspar, Balthazar and Herb, went to see the baby
Jesus and, according to the Book of Matthew, "presented unto Him gifts;
gold, frankincense, and myrrh." These are simple words, but if we
analyze them carefully, we discover an important, yet often
overlooked,
theological fact: There is no mention of wrapping paper. If there had been
wrapping paper, Matthew would have said so: "And lo, the gifts were
inside 600 square cubits of paper. And the paper was festooned with
pictures of Frosty the Snowman. And Joseph was going to throweth it away,
but Mary saideth unto him, she saideth, 'Holdeth it! That is nice
paper! Saveth it for next year!' And Joseph did rolleth his eyeballs. And
the baby Jesus was more interested in the paper than the
frankincense."
But these words do not appear in the Bible, which means that the very
first Christmas gifts were NOT wrapped. This is because the people giving
those gifts had two important characteristics:
1. They were wise.
2. They were men.
Men are not big gift wrappers. Men do not understand the point of
putting paper on a gift just so somebody else can tear it off.. This is
not just my
opinion: This is a scientific fact based on a statistical survey of two
guys I know. One is Brent, who said the only time he ever wraps a gift is
"if it's such a poor gift that I don't want to be there when the
person
opens it." The other is Jace, who told me he does wrap gifts, but as a
matter of principle never takes more than 15 seconds per gift. "No one
ever had to wonder which presents daddy wrapped at Christmas," Jace said.
"They were the ones that looked like enormous spitballs."
I also wrap gifts, but because of some defect in my motor skills, I can
never completely wrap them. I can take a gift the size of a deck of cards
and put it the exact center of a piece of wrapping paper the size
of a regulation volleyball court, but when I am done folding and
taping,
you can still see a sector of the gift peeking out. (Sometimes I
camouflage this sector with a marking pen.) If I had been an ancient
Egyptian in the field of mummies, the lower half of the Pharaoh's body
would be covered only by Scotch tape.
On the other hand, if you give my wife a 12-inch square of wrapping paper,
she can wrap a C-130 cargo plane. My wife, like many women, actually likes
wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she
wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close
to being a symptom of mental illness. If it were possible, my wife would
wrap each individual volt.
My point is that gift-wrapping is one of those skills like having
babies
that come more naturally to women than to men. That is why today I am
presenting:
GIFT-WRAPPING TIPS FOR MEN:
1. Whenever possible, buy gifts that are already wrapped. If, when the
recipient opens the gift, neither one of you recognizes it, you can claim
that it's myrrh.
2. If you're giving a hard-to-wrap gift, skip the wrapping paper! Just
put it inside a bag and stick one of those little adhesive bows on it.
This creates a festive visual effect that is sure to delight the lucky
recipient on Christmas morning:
YOUR WIFE: "Why is there a Hefty trash bag under the tree?"
YOU: "It's a gift! See? It has a bow!"
YOUR WIFE (peering into the trash bag): "It's a leaf blower."
YOU: "Gas-powered! Five horsepower!"
YOUR WIFE: "I want a divorce."
YOU: "I also got you some myrrh."
3. The editors of Woman's Day magazine recently ran an item on how to make
your own wrapping paper by printing a design on it with an apple sliced in
half horizontally and dipped in a mixture of food coloring and
liquid starch. They must be smoking crack!
In conclusion, remember that the important thing is not what you give, or
how you wrap it. The really important thing, during this very
special
time of year, is that you SAVE THE RECEIPT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Login
FAQ
Search
