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A manager had to hire someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were all equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"

Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied, "A THOUGHT." It just instantly pops into your head without any warning.

"That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And, now you sir?" he asked the second man.

"Hmmm... let me see. "A blink. It comes and goes and sometimes you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."

"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very good example of speed." He then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply, and said, "What's your answer?"

The third young man said, "Well, out at my dad's ranch, when you step out of the house, on the porch next to the door there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. "Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of".

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light," he said.

Turning to the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.

The fourth applicant replied, "After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA!".

"WHAT?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response.

"Oh sure", said the fourth applicant. "You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could ever THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already crapped my pants!"