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Mike was in court for a double murder and the judge said, "You are charged with beating your wife to death with a shovel." A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You bastard Mike!"

The judge continued, "You are also charged with beating your mistress to death with a shovel." Again, the voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You dirty rotten bastard Mike!!!"

The judge stopped, looked at the man in the back of the courtroom, and said, "Mister, I can understand your anger and frustration at this crime, but I will not have any more of these outbursts from you! Now be quiet or I will charge you with contempt! Now just what is your problem??"

A man at the back of the court stood up and responded, "For fifteen years I lived right next door to that lousy bastard Mike your honor.

To which the judge replied, " So were you a friend of one of the victims, or a member of either one of their families? Is that why you are so outraged and angry at Mike?"

The man replied, " No your honor - every time I asked to borrow a stinkin' shovel, that low down stingy bastard Mike said he didn't have one!"